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Victoria’s Secret isn’t exactly a place I look to for fashion advice. I mean, they seem to be missing the point of a sweater dress here:

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But this recommendation from one of their (many) recent catalogs just put me over the edge:

VS photo copy

Are. You. KIDDING me?

The VS catalog recommends this ensemble for date night. Date night! If I were a guy (or a lesbian), and a girl showed up to a date wearing this, I would do one of two things: laugh in her face and leave, or arrange for one of those “emergency” phone calls halfway through the evening. Because there’s no way I’m going to hang out with someone wearing jacquard track shorts. They’re TRACK SHORTS. What part of this does VS not understand? They are so delusional, this is their write-up:

“A drawstring waist, curved hem and contrast piping put this short on the fashion fast track.”

No. Just, no. If you’re on the high school track team and you want something cute to practice in (and you’re made of money), sure, blow $70 on these ridiculous shorts. If you fit none of the above criteria, save your money (and your dignity) and just say no.